I like the playfulness of the content in each of these poems, but i think that the diction you use is too scientific/academic to really work well with the content. Perhaps try using a more casual tone to convey these somewhat profound but playful ideas?
I loved how you brought he two poems together. The first one describing what you were about to do, which was trying to be creative and then you went into the second poem which was being the fullest level of creative and bringing in a drastic new idea. I think my suggestion would be maybe add some more poems just to go from the idea of trying to create to the extreme creative idea or maybe even add to it and put another extreme poem.
I like the playfulness of the content in each of these poems, but i think that the diction you use is too scientific/academic to really work well with the content. Perhaps try using a more casual tone to convey these somewhat profound but playful ideas?
ReplyDeleteI loved how you brought he two poems together.
ReplyDeleteThe first one describing what you were about to do, which was trying to be creative and then you went into the second poem which was being the fullest level of creative and bringing in a drastic new idea.
I think my suggestion would be maybe add some more poems just to go from the idea of trying to create to the extreme creative idea or maybe even add to it and put another extreme poem.